


Losing Control Like Mold

by puppyfacedbrokenboys



Category: Red Band Society
Genre: Chemotherapy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-27
Updated: 2014-09-27
Packaged: 2018-02-18 23:25:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2365868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puppyfacedbrokenboys/pseuds/puppyfacedbrokenboys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Losing his hair was the worst part. It was the first outward side effect of the chemo. Jordi knew it would probably happen; told himself he could handle it. But that wasn’t true.</p><p>// Or the fic in which Jordi breaks down and Leo is there to help him through it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Losing Control Like Mold

Losing his hair was the worst part. It was the first outward side effect of the chemo. Jordi knew it would probably happen; told himself he could handle it. But that wasn’t true. 

He noticed it in the shower. He watched pieces of hair slide down the drain and thought nothing of it. But then he pulled his hands away from his head to add more shampoo and that was it. 

His knees buckled and he fell back on the shower chair (which he should have been using in the first place, but he was still strong enough to stand up and he would until he couldn’t) and looked down at his hands. Dark, wet clumps of hair. And he broke, chest heaving sobs as the spray from the shower took his hair down the drain. 

He had lost track of how long he had sat there, but he was still sobbing when Leo rushed in and turned off the water, crowding into the small shower and wrapping him up in his arms, saying his name that Jordi could only faintly hear over his own breathing. 

Losing his hair made it all too real. That he was going through this and that he could actually die. Before then, yeah, he had given it a thought and had been strong, but now… now he wasn’t so sure. And he was terrified. 

Leo held him through it all, rocking him and not saying a word. Just being there, because he knew. He understood, and that meant more to Jordi than actual words. 

After a while the tightness in Jordi’s chest released and he could breathe better. He took a deep breath and rubbed his face into Leo’s shirt, taking in his warmth and realized he was shaking and cold and naked — _oh shit._

“Leo,” Jordi whispered, and pulled back and was met with a small smile and red eyed Leo. 

Leo shook his hand, effectively conveying that this was okay, not awkward, and Jordi relaxed. Leo stood up better, leaning against the wall for support, but kept his hands on Jordi’s shoulders, his touch warm on his bare skin. 

“I heard you and I was worried,” Leo began, softly, his words echoing off the shower tiles in the quiet, cold room. “So I knocked and when you didn’t say anything, I poked my head in, and…” He cleared his throat softly. “A-are you okay?”

And the look he gave Jordi, a mix of understanding, concern, and the undeniable expression of _I know you aren’t but you know what I mean_ made Jordi smile. 

“No,” Jordi said, honestly, but he gave Leo a smile. “But I will be.” 

Because he wasn’t alone. He had Leo and Leo understood and would be there for him. 

“Good,” Leo replied, his own smile growing and they just looked at each other for a moment. Leo cleared his throat again, and hobbled out of the shower, Jordi reaching over to pick up Leo’s disgarded crutch and handled it to him. 

“So, I’m gonna let you finish. I got something to take care of.” Leo nodded his head and turned to hobble away, but paused in the doorway. “A surprise,” he said with a michevious glint in his eyes and then he was gone. 

Chuckling, Jordi shook his head. After taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, Jordi finished his shower quickly and got dressed in his warmest sleep pants and his hospital gown, curled up in bed and waited for Leo. 

×-×-×-×-× 

Jordi heard the _thunk-clink_ of the crutch and looked up to see Leo coming in with a—

"What’s in the bag?" Jordi wondered, tossing his magazine aside as he sat up a bit to look at Leo. 

"Your surprise!" Leo announces and does a finger wave at Jordi and grins when Jordi laughs. "So get off your ass and get over here." He pats the back of a plastic chair that had been put over a hospital white sheet that Jordi hadn’t noticed before. 

"Is this my surprise?" Jordi asks with a chuckle but sits down anyway. 

“Ha, no,” Leo deadpans and when he comes back around, Jordi realizes he’s standing on two legs, the crutch still being used as support. Leo has been getting better using the protestic and can stand upright for the most part, but still has trouble walking. “Your surprise is - wait for it…” He trills a fake drum roll and whips a box out and shows Jordi. “This!” 

Jordi raises an eyebrow. “An electric hair clipper?” He almost laughs but one look up at Leo and _he gets it_. “Oh. Thank you,” Jordi says, a lump rising to his throat, remembering what had happened.

Leo nods, giving another small smile. “One thing I learned is that you can’t control what happens. Your body does all the work, but your brain doesn’t get the message. So this - this is you having control instead of giving up the control to your body.” He opened the box and started unwrapping the clippers. “And trust me, it hurts a lot less when you get to do it instead of just letting it happen.” He handed the clippers to Jordi and held up a mirror that had been propped next to Leo’s bed, hidden away from Jordi. “The control is yours. Take it, and I promise I will make sure you get it all.” He smirked at that and Jordi laughed, eyes dropping to the clippers. 

He stared at them for a moment, and then flicked the button with his thumb and began to shave. Bit by bit, clump by clump, Jordi ended up with a mohawk. He decided that would be a good start, and he had always wanted a mohawk. 

“What do you think?” he asked Leo as he circled him to inspect his head. 

“Good. You didn’t even nick yourself like I did. I approve. Good work, Moldi.” Jordi rolled his eyes at the nickname. 

They were quiet for a moment as Jordi moved the chair, and manuvered around his iv pole to roll up the sheet. It was nice, the comfortable silence, and Jordi didn’t want to break it, but he needed to say something.

"Thank you," Jordi began, turning to look at Leo who was by the sink washing the clippers. At Leo’s raised eyebrow, Jordi continued. "For this. For… earlier." And oh God, he was blushing and had to look away. 

But Leo gave him another small smile, and those were proving to be a really intimate like action. “No problem. I’m here for you, dude. Think of it like mold, you’re stuck with me.” 

Now they were both blushing and grinning and yeah, Jordi could get through this. 

**Author's Note:**

> This started out being a fic about Jordi losing his hair during chemo and breaking down with leo rushing in to help comfort him and grew into this. I blame Leo. Hope you enjoyed! Find me on tumblr by the same name :)


End file.
